definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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