Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Randomize
