2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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