is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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