everyone is single if you try hard enough
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
