I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
