I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
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