U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
