i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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