I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
