Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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