so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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