you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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