third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
