I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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