that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
high people should be assigned attendants
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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