I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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