apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Naked Twister starts at high noon
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
