girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
