im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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