I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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