Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
