Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
