I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
