So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
