btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I think your dad took our porno
He shit in the fireplace
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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