One girl and one boy is just not enough.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Randomize
