i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
