Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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