1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
