i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
