Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
