the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We have started to decorate penises.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
