I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
