im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
