So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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