so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
kristin has been a bad kristin
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
