Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
