I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
