did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
