the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
