dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
this just has baby written all over it
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
