Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
