D3 body, D1 cock
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
