So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
