Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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