no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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