Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
