I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
