it wasn't lemon gatorade
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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