Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
