Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Two words: blizzard sex
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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