Dual....:-)
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
